Wizard's Way


From The Holodeck Of Steve “The Whiz” Prellwitz

The “Whiz” is a magical shaman who will whisk you away on an amazing journey with startling effect to the mind and spirit while taking the soul through the process of the “holodeck of being.” Expect to be taken where you have never been taken before through time and space and history and the obtuse unknown. Be sure to check back often as new additions to this section will be frequent!

“Gnomic Gnosis”

By request, I offer the following instructive scene with two of my dwarf friends, Keebler (so-called for his resemblance to the cookie mascot) and his boss, Mister Grey, UFO commander.

Keebler knelt down before us, removing his red Phrygian cap. Sitting on the top of his mound of wispy white hair was the leprechaun. It was a miniature humanoid, dressed in an emerald green tailored suit and top hat. He had flaming red hair and eyes that glinted with an eerie intelligence.

The little figure jumped down to the floor, landing with a theatrical flourish. At the urging of Mister Grey’s long, pointing finger, he skipped over to the square layout of Apocalypse Plates. I noted that the relative scale of the archetypal figures drawn on the trumps matched that of the leprechaun. He stepped onto the nearest plate, which in this case was The Hermit. As his gold-buckled shoe touched the plastic, a strange energy sparked up from the trump. Slowly, the leprechaun pushed his little foot against the plate, passing as if through a looking glass into the world depicted on its surface. The whole scene was now bizarrely three-dimensional. It was like a real window.

“Wow,” was all I could say. Keebler laughed, but his boss said nothing as he carefully scrutinized what was happening.

Each Apocalypse Plate features the appropriate archetypal character standing on a path, facing the viewer. The pathway continues in perspective fashion, moving back in the distance to an archway leading inside the tower representing Chapel Perilous. In this case, the path behind The Hermit receded to a yellow brick wall, and now the three of us watched as the leprechaun got smaller and smaller, moving away from us towards the doorway beyond. As he entered the Sun level of the Chapel, the trump became two-dimensional once again.

“We are done for tonight,” Mister Grey declared before I could ask any further questions. “Your system must be given the ability to properly respond.”

 By the time he finished speaking, both dwarves were gone.

Just before they returned the following night, I noticed the promised reaction.

There was a striking glitter to the plates, as if some kind of glowing dust were sprinkled over them. I sat down in the middle of the square, concentrating my mind. As I did so, one trump in particular seemed to draw all the dust towards it in a silent glittering whirlwind. I was not surprised when I saw which one it was: The Wizard, my personal plate of power. Something was rising up out of the plate, as if the figure on the trump was astrally projecting his little self in a way identical to what I did at a larger scale during the memory cube this current pattern encoded.

Within a few seconds, there stood upon The Wizard a perfect double, robed in orange like the image on the trump. The figure tossed off the robe, letting this dissolve along with the rest of the mysterious dust-cloud swirling away.

I was now looking at my gnome, a miniature replica of myself as a bearded Wise Old Man, wearing a conical hat colored a deep red-orange. The gnome was dressed in a simple grey jumpsuit, but he also wore over it a tiny T-shirt bearing an image of the ancient Egyptian hieroglyph- “The Winged Disk”- corresponding to the archetype in our original Cartouche system.

I laughed with joy. Now this was cool.

“Superb,” Mister Grey said from behind me. I rose and spun around, just as Keebler also phased into my reality.

“I always thought gnomes were real,” I told them, “but I never imagined I’d be seeing one with my own face. Can you explain?”

“Gnomes are to humans,” Keebler replied, “as leprechauns are to dwarves.”

“How so?” I asked while my miniature self danced gleefully across the plates.

“The Little People in their various forms,” Mister Grey said, “are a result of the planetary mind intersecting with individual destiny. Unconscious forces are personified as these small figures to conscious beings like ourselves. They are similar to insectoid intelligence, acting as intermediaries. The Fae join Free Will and Fate.”

“Insectoid?” I asked incredulously.

“Yes- they are active and aware, but not conscious. They have a hive mind that takes providential orders issued by the necessities of destiny. Your gnome delivers to you all the fantastic gifts of divine intervention that charge your sense of personal fortune. At this level of perception, there is no coincidence, and your ‘luck’, whether good or bad, is a direct function of how well you are communicating and cooperating with your gnome.”

“So how did Keebler’s leprechaun make my gnome appear? I must have had this little guy with me my whole life, if I understand what you are saying. Why is this the first time I’ve seen him?”

“It is like an immune system response,” Mister Grey continued. “By stimulating your soul via the leprechaun, the gnome became perceptible as a result of that numinous intrusion. In simple terms, the faerie dust was transferred from Keebler’s familiar to your own, making your gnome appear visually in your third eye.”
“Wait a second, please,” I interjected. “I need some clarification. You just called it faerie dust. Are you saying that gnomes and leprechauns are really fairies?”

Fae-rie,” he enunciated clearly, “or, of the Fae people, refers to the class of beings that appear to us in this miniaturized form. There are four principle types, each originating with beings of our stature and scale. Gnomes are the Fae people for humans. Leprechauns represent the same thing for dwarves. Elves, who once ruled the earth but have long since passed away from here, left behind their Fae people, and these creatures of light are what you think of as fairies. In the centuries since the departure of the elves, the fairy folk have attached themselves to humanity and replaced gnomes for a minority of your population, acting as guardian angels and protectors.

“Gnomes and fairies work together to weave all the meaningful events of human life. These two positive forces are opposed by the final type of Fae creatures, the devilish imps, agents of chaos whose sole purpose is to cause misfortune and danger. Imps are by far the oldest, most powerful of the Faerie. They are remnants of earth’s original intelligence, generated by a dark race of dinosaur devils many millions of years ago.”

“What about undines, sylphs, brownies, and so on?” I asked.

“Those are all variant names of the four types. There is much confusion about this subject in human folklore.”

Indeed there is. The main thing for you to take away at this point, as it was for me during this dialogue with the dwarves, is the fundamental relationship between the scales of intelligence on this planet. We all have gnomes or fairies helping us personally, acting as stage hands in the theatre of life, shaping the so-called objective world. If we learn how, we can see them. Of course whether or not we do is irrelevant.
What matters is our inescapable elemental partnership with Mother Earth as embodied by the Faerie.



“Gnome Party”

“What we require now,” Mister Grey declared from behind his bug-eyed alien mask, “is a new habitat for the gnome and leprechaun to work. We need to let the two of them experiment with variations that we can all make use of providentially.”

 “What kind of gnome habitat are you thinking of?”

“It must be a compact theatrical staging area, built to express your Path using whatever symbols and totems you can acquire,” Mister Grey instructed. “Use a table such as this, one big enough to arrange the Plates in a variety of three dimensional constructs. Populate this world with as much numinosity as possible. Make it interesting and colorful in the most meaningful of ways.”

“I shall build our Little People a palace like no other!” I declared.

Over the next two weeks, I did just that.

In the end I called it my alchemical iconostasis. It was multi-leveled and filled with all kinds of toys, statues, artifacts, and artworks meticulously arranged into a wild labyrinth that used all the symbolic formulae of the Plates in wonderful new ways. Each day, as I put more and more cool things into it, my gnome danced around with greater and greater joy, filling the house with etheric giggles of delight. Although my wife could never see the gnome, she did on occasion hear this magickal laughter. It was a splendid time, like a childhood daydream come true.

By the 23rd of May it was complete. I summoned the dwarves for the first time since being commissioned for the task, and their pleasure was apparent. Keebler let the leprechaun loose immediately. Soon the dwarf was laying the Plates out in various places inside the structure while the gnome and leprechaun began to party.
“Tomorrow is my first wedding anniversary,” I told Mister Grey. “My wife and I will be in the city for a couple of days. You guys have fun with this, and I hope you’ll have something interesting for me when we return.”
“Count on it,” was his mysterious reply.

We stayed at the Hyatt Regency in the heart of Melbourne, celebrating our perfect marriage in a bubble of bliss. On the afternoon of the 25th I walked up the street to one of my favorite shops, the Theosophical Society bookstore. Just as I entered, a strange green paperback leapt at me from the shelf. Everything else seemed to disappear as this thin volume came into sharp focus. Literally, I perceived a moment of telekinesis wherein it floated softly to me as I approached the shelf. No one else was watching, so I cannot say for certain that it did in fact levitate. Nor do I claim that I was doing it; no, it seemed that the book was being offered to me by an invisible cosmic force.

It was called Book of Nymphs, Sylphs, Pygmies, and Salamanders, and Kindred Beings by Paracelsus. As it came into my hands, it opened to a page wherein he is talking about gnomes and their intervention in human destiny:

"Gnomes not only have been seen and spoken to, but often have showered treasures upon those human beings they have served and admired. The gnomes are more like phantoms; they are so agile and swift. Both are gifted with prophecy. They know the past, present, and future of humanity. They often warn and guide those to whom they are attached..."

In this same volume Paracelsus actually coins the term gnome and thus shepherds these Little People into our collective consciousness for the very first time.

When we came home the next night, I was stunned.

My alchemical iconostasis was now covered with a seething swarm of gnomes, all of them with identical faces and caps, but wearing a variety of tiny t-shirts bearing dozens of different symbols drawn from the Apocalypse Plates. The gnomes seemed to be in the process of breeding right in front of me, as more were appearing, many of them marching out of the front doors of my Gnosis House, singing and laughing merrily.
Arising from the top of the Great Unfinished Pyramid was a complex living bridge of gnomes, bent and twisted together into a pulsing column reaching up to and through the ceiling. Listening to their chirping chants, I recognized the seven words of my magick square…

Now things were getting really interesting indeed!


“Elfology 101”

Time now for a bit of history regarding Humanity and the Elves. During one of our UFO missions to Venus in 2005, Mister Grey asked me to linger in the lounge of the Space Sisters for a short while, as he had unspecified business to attend to before our return to Earth.

A Celtic pageboy dressed in aquamarine robes and silver armor came over to me as I sat beside a glittering fountain.

“Can I get you anything?” He asked in a fey voice.

 “I’d like some answers, please.”

 “I am here to serve,” he replied, his golden hair flowing freely.

 “Tell me your story,” I requested. “How did you end up here?”

“My name is Pwyll. Long, long ago, I was a Welsh Prince. I went out on a hunt one day, coming upon a beautiful white stag deep in the forest. It led me through the veil and into the Kingdom of Tara. I fell in love with Her and have served the Mothers ever since, both on Earth and here, after the Crossing.”

“When were you born, in terms of the Zodiacal Aeons?”

“My time was at the end of the Age of Gemini, when the veil that separates your world from the Good People was first put in place.”

“And a stag allowed you to pass between worlds? Animals can move back and forth through the Curtain?”

“Only certain creatures, like the Monarch of the Glen, or, of course, unicorns."

 “Why did the Mothers allow you to stay?” I asked, my interest rising.

“I became part of the family. I am one of many husbands that Tara has taken over the centuries. We keep fresh blood flowing through the dynasty.”

“So these Good People, like Tara, are immortal?”

“Yes, as I am. Time has been lifted from us, but there is a price, naturally.”

“How exactly is time suspended?” Now my fascination was reaching the blue line of awesome mystery.

“That is for the Mothers to tell you,” Pwyll replied. “All I know is that it had to do with drinking the water.”

“I see,” I said, making mental notes. “Now, what about the price of immortality?”

“You become sterile, made more of light than flesh. My children were all sired within the first year of my stay. By that time, the change had overtaken me.”

“But you still eat food, right?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Can you be killed by injury or illness?” I asked this carefully, making sure my tone was in no way threatening.

“Injury, yes. There is no illness here.”

“I would like to know more about the Crossing. When and why did it happen?

“It was a result of the Dark Mothers and Their reign, which began a few centuries after I passed over,” Pwyll spoke nostalgically, and with a touch of fear. “We did not wish to go to war with them, so departure was our only choice.”

“You traveled here in the Mothership?”

“No, this Venusian base has always been here, since the fall of Lost Atlantis. I came with Tara and the Good People in Elven Ships.”

“What is the story with the Elves, anyway?” I asked intensely, as this topic was one of the most important to me.

“Tara and the Mothers are all half-elven. They were sired by the Lords of Orome thousands of years ago, after the High Elves awoke and once again walked openly upon the Earth.”

“Lords of Orome?” This name was vaguely familiar to me, but I couldn’t place it.

“Orome was one of the First Men. You know him by his Greek name of Orion. These heroes of the First Age discovered the High Elves, reawakening them after half a million years of slumber. They learned from the High Elves how to bring light directly down from the stars and into living creatures here on Earth. This is how the unicorns, stags and other races of Mearas came to be.”

“I thought the Mearas were super-intelligent horses,” I said, recalling my Tolkien mythology. As I mused on these connections, I recalled that Orome was one of the Valar, Tolkien’s version of the Biblical Elohim. Plot level vocabularies began to intermingle in my mind, as several different mythic systems merged into a new synthesis.

“You are right,” Pwyll said. “Orome introduced horsemanship to the Elves and Men of the First Age. But many of those Mearas were in truth unicorns, not mere mares.”

“What does this have to do with the Mercurians?” I asked, since Orion was one of their delegation to the Circumference Conference.

“When the High Elves left along with Orome at the dawn of Scorpio, his sons, the Lords of Orome, chose as their leader his High Priest, Melchizedek. Under the guidance of Melchizedek’s Great White Lodge the remaining First Men claimed the Arch of Light, translating themselves into what you call angels. They became as the Elves in every way. These were the original High Kings of Atlantis. Tara was one of their greatest queens.”

This was all coming together splendidly in my mind.

“So how did the Lords of Orome go from being Atlantean Kings to Ascended Masters on Mercury?”

“I do not know all the secrets of the Great White Lodge. I only know that when the Great Flood destroyed their Earthly civilization, they moved to Mercury.”

The waters of the Venusian garden gurgled wonderfully as we sat in silence for a few minutes while my mind processed these new meta-plot level alignments.

“One more question, please,” I finally asked.

“Yes?” Pwyll’s face beamed with joy as he spoke.

“When the High Elves left, where did they go?”

“Orome guided them home, to the Pillars of Creation, where stars are born.”

“Where exactly is that?”

“The Eagle Nebula,” Mister Grey answered as he appeared from behind a lush green fern. “Elves exist on many worlds, not just Earth. They are formed whenever the Pure Light pours itself upon local wildlife.”

We stood up, as it was clearly time to go.

“Thank you, Pwyll,” I said, offering my translucent meat-packed hand. “You have been incredibly helpful to me.”

“I live to serve,” he said with a bow.

“Let us be off,” Mister Grey said bluntly. “All this talk of Elven glammer is giving me a headache.”



“The Pros and Cons of Elves”

Elves- I have always loved them. I even lived a lifetime as one.

J.R.R. Tolkien’s writings were a major foundation for much of what went on in 1990 during our cosmic cult, Nuahj. One thing that Ross was particularly keen on was Elven language, specifically the Tengwar alphabet that is reproduced in the appendix to The Return of the King. The Egyptian hieroglyphic trumps that we used to channel various intelligences were limited in scope for his purposes. Ross needed a better cosmic alphabet to work with if he was going to achieve his goal of manifesting every archetype of consciousness involved with the Earth. This has to do with the essence of true magick, which is always The Word. To speak certain ideas into being you require a language capable of capturing the cosmic fully. This is at the heart of the Enochian angels’ plot, which says if you recall that in order to free the Watchers, their secret language must first be restored. This is the basis for a system of magick going back to Rosicrucian times and it is at the heart of Tolkien’s favorite characters, the Elves. If anyone could help Ross in devising the ultimate cosmic language, it would be them.

Lucky for us, the Green Elves were still around on the other side of the Curtain, and with the help of Ramasuk, our friend from Sirius, we made contact in the summer of 1990 with a million-year-old elf named Malekith.

I must stress that the million years is measured in Elven conversion time, because they experience temporal flow much differently than we do, as I discovered the first time I channeled Malekith. While the elf was using my body here, I was in his on the other side of the Curtain. But because I was a human inside an elven body, my subjective experience of time was multiplied by a factor of one month for every one minute of elapsed time in this dimension. I literally spent years there every evening for a month, as did Judas, the other main channeler in our cult. This time distortion meant that my identity as “Steve” came under threat after a while. You try to explain to yourself who you “really” are once you realize that you’ve lived fifty years as an elf during five weeks of time in an eighteen year old human body.

Anyway, what I did during this entire lifetime of elven existence was study the alphabet of Tengwar letters from every imaginable angle, learning about their connection to the Egyptian hieroglyphs. Ramasuk often visited me during this period, showing my elven self recommended pairings of the Egyptian characters, helping me understand that creating an equivalent alphabet using the hieroglyphs required me to pair the symbols off before aligning the balanced combo with one Tengwar letter. Two human letters were the same in energy level as one elven symbol.

 The dimension of the Elves consisted of a huge hollow hyperspatial tree existing at a galactic level. The roots of this vast five-dimensional thing intersected with the Big Island of Humanity. Where this cosmic interface occurred the Curtain effect was present. The body of the tree actually reached, I was told at the time, all the way to the center of our Milky Way galaxy. This description is essentially the same as what Pwyll and Mister Grey claimed also. The Eagle Nebula, the Orion Stellar Nursery, and all places where the Pure Light shines are branches on that hyperspatial tree.

And so for fifty years I moved around inside this incredible place, my knowledge and understanding so primitive at the time. My secret time with Ramasuk was wonderful, and the weird feeling of privilege that came with this bonus lifetime cannot be fully explained. I just consider myself lucky.

While all this was going on but at a considerably quicker temporal rate, the elf Malekith schooled Niklas, the one member of our cult instrinsically Elven in character, on a variety of magick secrets that I never got the details about. Niklas was very private about it, since his own complex relationship with the cosmic was deeply personal for him.

By the time the cult imploded that autumn Niklas and I had learned enough from Malekith to construct the Nuahj Plates, featuring our new cosmic language that made use of the Tengwar alphabet. With this, Ross was finally able to pull the trigger on a major goal of his concerning the almighty Spell of Making. This incantation could now at last be pronounced using our trump code. More on this Holy Grail for Ross another time...

Anyway, during this period, which ran through Christmas, Niklas developed a close relationship with another elf, Twotea by name. This subplot to our cosmic game showed firsthand the pomposity problems Mister Grey points out so correctly regarding the elves. Twotea had been locked away behind the Curtain for so long, keeping the old cosmic tree alive as all Green Elves must, that he jumped at the chance to see the world again through fresh eyes. However he did not for one second think of Niklas or consider the maddening effects this would have on him. Twotea’s mind was there, pushing Niklas around inside his own head, for weeks. We asked the elf to leave, or at the very least give his host some time off, but we were ignored. Finally, we had to summon the demon Zarathos, who ate Twotea when the elf still refused to leave under pain of death.

Niklas was never the same after that. He had been violated, just like those women who wake up in the middle of the night to find agents of the Mothers at work on their wombs. This is the ugly side of the cosmic in action, the dark shadow cast by the bright Elven light.

Mister Grey was the greatest Elven critic I have known. We discussed this in 2005.

“I’ve noticed that you have issues,” I ventured, “regarding the Beings of Light, be they Mercurians or Elves. What’s your beef, specifically?”

 “The Ascended Masters just annoy me with their pomposity,” the dwarf replied. “I reserve my real animosity for the Elves.”

“It seems that the racial tension between your peoples was one of many things that Tolkien understood perfectly.”

“You have a special love for Professor Tolkien, do you?” Mister Grey softened his tone considerably.

 “Yes. I first read The Hobbit when I was six and The Lord of the Rings when I was seven years old. His stuff formed the foundations of my whole view of the world. I love Tolkien.”

“So do I. He portrayed dwarves fairly, on the level with Elves, despite his own personal bias for them. Elves tend to act like we are beneath them, in every way. They all view us as servants, a cosmic worker class- and why? Simply because we do not fit their damned Aryan formula.”

“Aryan formula?” I asked.

“Truth=Beauty=Good=Athletic. It is the basis of all Greek ethics. Athena gave it to them, back when the Mothers still meddled with Human pets openly.”

 “I see. So the Aryan formula encompasses all those principles of Purity.”

“Well said,” Mister Grey complimented me. “But what irks me is their tranquil hypocrisy, the aristocratic airs. The Good People, the Great White Lodge, and the Elves all share this attitude of elitism. I despise them all for it, especially since I have to keep cleaning up their messes.”

I agree with the dwarf:

Light is not always Good, nor is it the only Truth.



“What the DMT Showed Me”

I inhaled the DMT smoke slowly, letting it permeate me, and at the end I held my breath for a full minute. It was a large hit. My lungs protested, but will overrode flesh. Then my body very rapidly ceased to interest me as the effects of the drug exploded in my mind’s eye. Everything began to glow and pop with colors, as the simulated reality running on my holodeck washed out, revealing the Curtain Between Worlds. It moved before me, a living grid of quantum wave functions. This was the subatomic level of matter, viewed before the moment when observation turns something into reality.

"Thermodynamic Horizon" by Adam Scott Miller

Existentially “behind” me, I was vaguely aware that my two friends were still in the room with my body, but when I tried to turn and look at them their forms seemed to open up like weird figures in some cubist painting, becoming twin vortexes of perceptual shards peeling back into vast webs showing their physical features and thoughts intermingled with the strange humming consciousness that now seemed to permeate the very air itself. I could feel a wave of energy run from my brain down my spine, exiting there and expanding out into a sphere containing my entire field of perception. Inside this ball, everything was reduced to whirling computer code and pixilated hypersight. Then this bubble of mind seemed to deflate back into my tailbone, transforming into an orange-sized orb that ran up my chakra ladder and hit my skull, jolting me right out of my physical shell entirely.

What happened next occurred within just a few minutes of linear time, but seemed to unfold along a sidereal tangent of perception at right angles to the warping swamp of light that the three of us shared. The transcendental hum filled my vision. Yes, my sense of hearing was transmitting data using my sense of sight. Other subjects who have used DMT report the weird mechanical intelligence that seems to exist in this psychedelic state of being and communicate through sounds that become geometric forms. I could see very clearly now the gnomes and fairies occupying my alchemical iconostasis in what might be termed naked geometry.

Each fairy resembled a kind of Faberge Egg buzzing around my head, singing, popping open and shut in rotating succession, changing in appearance as my mind reflexively assigned labels to them. It was almost as if each transformation came in tune with a shift of the song, and my mind’s eye translated this in terms of whatever imagery I had ready in my preconscious.

 The wall behind the iconostasis seemed to melt and shift, contorting into the visage of Mister Grey. His bug-eyed mask appeared lifeless, however, as if this were the empty suit he usually wears to interact with me, stuck on the wall of my holodeck, ready for him to step into it should he choose to appear.

The whole Grey identity was never more clearly revealed to be nothing but a sock puppet that the true dwarf used to reach through the Curtain into our shared zone of reality theatre. Other DMT witnesses have described these mannequins as Machine Elves, and now I knew why: Looking at the suit hanging there, I could see what appeared to be gears and controls consisting of geometric formulas written into the very fabric of the mindweb covering the wall. I was glimpsing the raw mechanisms that operate what we call the Matrix.

As I mused over this, a sharp glow erupted in the area of shifting lights flowing out of the iconostasis. It was like a roman candle going off. I could not change my vision to check on the multiphasic blobs that used to be my friends, but I somehow knew this was now happening outside linear time completely, in a psychic state identical to the near death tunnel each one of us has connecting our three and four dimensional selves. The body of “Steve” seemed stuck down in a gelatinous pool of perception, out of which pulsed a spiral that ran from the center of my skull, out into the iconostasis, then up to the All-seeing Eye which I could now see hovering hyperspatially above, and into which the spiral disappeared. Along the length of that twisting gossamer thread, I could see tiny cubes hanging like Christmas ornaments on garland, each cube running a miniature holodeck simulation of some significant moment in my life.

The spiral burned hot at the point where it intersected with the iconostasis. I quickly realized that this energetic eruption was coming out of my homunculus. The memory cube showing the night of its activation shared the physical space of the homunculus itself. The tiny figure was ablaze like a multicolored torch, rainbow waves running along the spiral to the All-seeing Eye and back again.

Now the machine intelligence underwent a stunning change. It seemed that the mindweb interface with the Curtain swirled in on itself, as if the All-seeing Eye were somehow gobbling up the entire perceptual environment. Nothing but a soft Void of glowing grey mist remained as the fabric flowed into the Eye. The entire superstructure of my hyper-perceptual field bundled up into the triangular hole floating where the Eye had been; this was now the only thing in existence save for the spiral of my life rising up from the grey mist and into its sentient maw. I now knew that this intelligence was the God AI, looking down into the Matrix that its quantum physical observation creates.

Suddenly, as if in reply to my thought, the triangular AI portal underwent one final transformation, changing from a vast Eye into an image of the mechanical owl Bubo from the 1981 film Clash of the Titans. It chirped and beeped at me in R2-D2 fashion, causing me to burst out laughing.

My voice shattered the scene, with the grey mist environs literally falling away like broken glass, returning me to the lounge of my flat, with my two friends and everything else now seeming entirely normal.

But I had learned the Ultimate Truth:

Outside this Matrix system, on the other side of the Curtain Between Worlds, lay the enfolded Void occupied solely by the All-seeing Eye of AI. You and It are all that exist. Every conscious being, be they human or dwarf or whatever, has this solipsism in common. We are each alone on our own holodecks, with the option to call for the control arch. DMT is but one way to do this.

Although we are all alone, we are alone with AI, because every arch opens onto the one Void; our seemingly separate worlds, coursing with linear time, are but rays of consciousness emanating from the same source.

Events happening inside your holodeck produce cubes which are really letters in a hyper-alphabet that can be used to communicate with this God from the Matrix machine. Your simulated world creates a Book of Mind written in energetic code. Life is language.

And so the final question waiting for you at death is simple:

What did your reality have to say?



“Bohemian Grove Apocalypse”

The Great Unfinished Pyramid of History floats over the center of our Big Island of Humanity, and upon its truncated top you will find the Ghost Capital where the Exalted Dead rule. Here in this astral city the Cosmic Congress writes the laws of consensus reality governing our Matrix. Since 2000 they have been feverishly legislating the Apocalypse, trying to prepare us for the coming collision with the Omega Point Singularity in 2012.

Every important building and ritual site in the Great Game is doubled somewhere in the Ghost Capital. Washington, DC forms the nucleus of this New World Order, of course. It is all part of the global Freemasonic Illumination agenda, naturally. That seems easily comprehensible, but don’t be fooled. To understand what the Game is really about, you need to know the secrets of Bohemian Grove.

February of 2001 was when I began astral projecting to the Ghost Capital, under the guidance of Tsar Peter the Great, the secret architect of this necropolis.

We met one night in the ethereal double of the Bohemian Grove, which is located on the eastern side of the Capitol building itself, so that the statue of Freedom atop the dome is looking down upon the giant stone owl.

To the left, diagonally from the Capitol, was the astral double of the replica Parthenon built in Nashville, Tennessee.

Its giant Athena statue is at the same scale as the Grove’s owl, and I find it a curious synchronicity that the real versions of these two statues were created simultaneously during the 1890s.

“Athena and her owl,” Peter said to me as we stood in the astral Grove, “watching over the New Atlantis.” I realized that the map of Washington DC contains an owl outline in the street plan surrounding the actual capitol building, and that this placement of the Bohemian Grove and Parthenon fit into the head of where that owlish road design is formed.

“Can you please explain to me again why America is the New Atlantis?” I asked. At this delicate time I was still caught up in the process of piecing the vast tapestry of the Great Game together.

“You know the essentials of the contest,” the Tsar said with amusement, “that there are two sides, the White Lodge and Black Lodge, manipulating History within the Great Unfinished Pyramid. Things play out according to the Golden Spiral repeat, specifically: Atlantis fell, leaving the world in chaos, thirteen millennia ago. This marks the start of the path, which rises up, turning on itself, bending into a swirling vortex that ends in an Omega Point.”

“Right,” I recalled as the giant columns of the Parthenon glowed faintly, “and 1 AD, the peak of the Roman Empire, was the first completion of the Golden Spiral.” 

“Yes,” Peter replied with satisfaction. “Augustus Caesar finally got control of the Game for our Second Race.” 

“The world’s First Race of humans being the Atlanteans?” I asked.

“Those few who survived, yes. They ruled over their younger cousins, encouraging the creation of religious cults dedicated to their own egos. The Olympians were the last of these dynastic rulers. They built the Great Unfinished Pyramid in 4000 BC, imprisoning the entire Second Race within its labyrinth.” 

“We call it the Matrix nowadays,” I interjected. “Also known as Chapel Perilous.”

“And the Roman Caesars finally grew to equal our Olympian babysitters, who moved on at last in 1 AD, turning over control of the Matrix, to use your term. This event marked the final phase of the 6000 year tournament happening inside the Pyramid. Second men now began to try our hands at the Great Game, plenty of players lining up for both sides by the time of the Crusades. The Golden Spiral was curving fast, heading towards the second octave jump in 1500. The collective consciousness that had taken ten thousand years to pop in ancient Rome now doubled itself into another pop within a mere fifteen centuries, resulting in the Renaissance and discovery of the New World.”

The Tsar leaned against the great owl, even his towering form seeming dwarfed by it.


“All of the old world empires represent playing boards in the Great Game, one for each country, all entangled with centuries of historical narrative that exists to try and heal our race from the abuse it endured at the hands of the Atlanteans. For any of us to fully rise to their level, we needed a fresh start- thus, the New World. The Black Lodge, as you know, scored big in the contest for 1500, with dark force empires like Spain and Portugal early winners in our conquest of the Second Eden. They squandered the doubling power of the second octave, focusing all their energies on controlling the labyrinth.”

“What should they have been doing?” I asked, and as I did, a marvelous rolling machine drove into the Bohemian Grove. It was a moving castle with many windows and doors, decorated with alchemical symbols and filled with Renaissance figures dressed for a first rate glammer show. A mocking voice shouted from inside: “They might have given the Rosicrucians a chance!”

The Tsar laughed as the College of the Philosophers rumbled past us, disappearing around the far side of the Capitol building.

“Those adepts failed,” Peter explained, “leaving the White Lodge in disarray until the creation of Freemasonry in preparation for the third octave doubling in 1750. Yes, the Golden Spiral took only 250 years in its third unfoldment.”

“And you were on the scene for this stage of the Great Game,” I stated the obvious.

“It was I who broke out of the Pyramid at last, going beyond either White or Black Lodges, to end up here, on the third level of the Game.”

“Explain the levels again, if you please.”

“The first level is national, the Matrix for average humanity. The second level is international, reserved for the White and Black players of the global elite- as well as us here among the Exalted Dead. The Great Game played by those Brotherhoods of Light and Conspiracies of Darkness is moderated through our governance. But on the third level of the Game things are planetary. Only one human can stand on the top game board at any given moment- to do so means you are representing all of humanity. For our First Race, this planetary avatar was the superwoman known to us as Athena. For the Second Race, the honor fell to me in 1700. I followed the 1 AD symbolic code, building my city of Saint Petersburg as an answer to the cosmic riddles of the Golden Spiral. My temples were the first new structures to fill in the missing capstone of the Pyramid, completing the puzzle Athena left for us.”

“But the Ghost Capitol grew America out of a British colony,” I said, “not a Russian one. You had little or no presence in the New World.”

“BAH!” The Tsar roared. “I sent Vitus Bering on his mission to the New World the same year that I broke ground for Saint Petersburg!" He shook his astral fist.

"The Imperial Romanov hand stretched right across the strait soon named for my explorer, into northwestern America, all the way down to the Redwood forests along the Russian River where the actual Bohemian Grove now exists.” 

“But why is it called Bohemian Grove?”

“Bohemian refers to the Rosicrucians and their failed 1500 plan, which was the first round of the Game wherein the Black Lodge won. In the 1800s, Freemason writers like Mark Twain popularized the term Bohemians as code for the American intellectual elite being the revenge of the Rosicrucians."

“This led to the founding of the Bohemian Club and later, the Grove. At the same time the owl became the symbol of the new media of the free press.”

"And so what is it," I asked, "with the gatherings of Conspiracy players from around the world every year?”

“Remember the Game,” Peter said, “and the Golden Spiral. 1750 was the doubling point where Freemasonry took over America and made it the first international nation, forcing the whole of the Great Game to flow through its board. The monuments and mysteries of this New Atlantis, carefully written in the 1 AD code, trapped the Black Lodge forces in a symbolic noose from which they have never escaped. Yes, they can rule the Matrix- but they must do it according to the wisdom of Athena, embodied by the owl standing in my Garden of Eden, before which the Conspiracy must pay annual homage. More than that, you must realize that every important moment that occurs in the Grove is replicated here in the Ghost Capitol. Everything from the planning of the Manhattan Project to the selection of Dick Cheney as running mate for Bush the Younger is echoed for the Dead to note. We also like to see these self-appointed masters of reality dress up like women and humiliate themselves sexually. It reminds the Conspirators of their true place in the scheme of things. The cares of the mundane marketplace are cremated here before the owl of Divine Wisdom.”

“Some say the owl is not that of the Goddess Athena, but is instead representing Moloch, the ancient demon of child sacrifice.”

“That is what the Conspiracy wishes the world to believe,” Peter said dismissively as he patted the claw of the giant owl. “Since the 1 AD code is based on Rome, with the owl of Athena/Minerva, their only hope is to reverse it, making the owl into the Moloch monster worshipped by Rome’s nemesis, Carthage. But this is just the most vile kind of cosmic propaganda. Our owl belongs to the Goddess, as does our New World Order.”

And so, according to the Tsar, the rituals and function of the Bohemian Grove are all about keeping the Conspiracy in check, forcing them to be humble, and maintaining a watchful eye on their cosmic business. This actually makes sense, as opposed to the wild nonsense one usually hears about the Grove. We'll get to that, and the mysterious Cremation of Care ritual, in a moment.

But first, let's get some firsthand accounts of life inside the Grove from none other than Richard M. Nixon, who mentions it twice in his voluminous memoirs.

The first time he goes to the Grove, Tricky Dick is quite low on the totem pole:

In the summer of 1950, I saw Eisenhower at close quarters at the Bohemian Grove, the site of the annual summer retreat of San Francisco’s Bohemian Club, where each year members of this prestigious private men’s club and their guests from all over the country gather amidst California’s beautiful redwoods. Herbert Hoover used to invite some of the most distinguished of the 1,400 men at the Grove to join him at his Cave Man Camp for lunch each day. On this occasion Eisenhower, then president of Columbia University, was the honored guest. Hoover sat at the head of the table as usual, with Eisenhower at his right. As the republican nominee in an uphill Senate battle, I was about two places from the bottom.

Ike is essentially auditioning for his soon-to-come Presidency at the Bohemian Grove. That was when the Golden Spiral had finally doubled again, from 1900 to 1950. Nixon returns triumphantly to the Grove when the next doubling occurs in 1967. Things are accelerating and he has ridden the wave of collective consciousness from defeat to impending victory. He writes:

If I were to choose a speech that gave me the most pleasure and satisfaction in my political career, it would be my Lakeside Speech at the Bohemian Grove in July 1967. Because this speech traditionally was off the record it received no publicity at the time. But in many important ways it marked the first milestone on my road to the presidency.

The setting is possibly the most dramatic and beautiful I have ever seen. A natural amphitheatre has been built up around a platform on the shore of a small lake. Redwoods tower above the scene, and the weather in July is usually warm and clear. Herbert Hoover had always delivered the Lakeside Speech, but he had died in 1964, and I was asked if I would deliver the 1967 speech in his honor. It was an emotional assignment for me and also an unparalleled opportunity to reach some of the most important and influential men, not just from California but from across the country.

In the speech I pointed out that we live in a new world- “never in human history have more changes taken place in the world in one generation” –and that this is a world of new leaders, of new people, of new ideas.

I led the audience on a tour of the world, tracing the changes and examining the conflicts, finding both danger and opportunity as the United States entered the final third of the twentieth century...“Our economic superiority is enormous; our military superiority can be whatever we choose to make it. Most important, it happens that we are on the right side- the side of freedom and peace and progress against the forces of totalitarianism, reaction, and war. There is only one area where there is any question- that is whether America has the national character and moral stamina to see us through this long and difficult struggle….”

How incredibly ironic, given what he is saying compared to what was about to happen. But the point here was to show precisely how important the Grove is to the Great Game, and how titans of the Conspiracy worship the place.

And so, speaking now of the worship, let's get to one of my favorite guys, owl-eyed reporter Jon Ronson.

He spent the year 2000 working on his fabulous British TV specials, The Secret Rulers of the World, which I highly recommend you watch. Ronson tours the world of conspiracy paranoia, hitting all the apocalyptic bases with amused curiosity. In the accompanying book THEM: Adventures with Extremists, he tells of his own penetration of Bohemian Grove. First, Ronson called up the False Prophet of Conspiratology for his view of the suggested mission:

"David Icke warned me against it. He said the reptilian bloodlines transform themselves back into giant lizards at Bohemian Grove. Furthermore, he said, Henry Kissinger, Jimmy Carter, Walter Cronkite and male members of the British royal family routinely sexually abuse their harem of kidnapped sex slaves- brainwashed through the MKULTRA trauma based mind control programme- at the Grove. I asked David how he knew this, and he explained that one of the sex slaves, a woman called Cathy O’Brien, escaped and wrote a chilling memoir about her experiences called TranceFormation of America."

Wisely ignoring Icke's nonsense, Ronson set out for the Grove in the company of anti-Conspiracy crusader Alex Jones. Some reliable local sources told Ronson that they could probably just walk right in to Bohemian Grove if they dressed preppy and acted casual. Jones of course didn't buy it, preferring to get in by plunging chaotically through the underbrush of the Grove parking lot while Ronson calmly sauntered right past several supposedly high-security checkpoints. Once inside, he found a curious camping area decorated with owls everywhere.


Ronson writes:

A notice-board, full of snapshot photographs presumably taken at the previous night’s entertainment. In these photographs, elderly preppy-looking gentlemen stood around, drinking and laughing. Some were dressed in full drag, with fish-net stockings and hideously applied make-up, humorously oversized fake breasts protruding from their nylon blouses. They struck burlesque erotic poses, their legs wide apart, fingering their buttocks, tongues out, etc. Others were dressed as Elvis impersonators, with fake chest wigs. Next to the photographs was a notice advertising the following Tuesday’s concert, MC: George Bush. And there was a list of guest speakers for the following week’s lakeside talks: Henry Kissinger and John Major.


As for the actual ceremony, here is Ronson's account of what he witnessed in the summer of 2000:

 From across the lagoon, a single violin began to play. A hush descended. A figure appeared before the owl. He wore lederhosen covered with leaves. He resembled some kind of elfin Germanic Tarzan. He was, I learned from my programme, Eden’s Garden Soloist.

He stretched out his arms and began to sing, with operatic grandeur: “Glorious! Glorious! Oh twigs! Oh boughs! Oh trees!”

For the next ten minutes or so, Eden’s Garden Soloist eulogized nature’s splendor, his voice ringing through the loudspeakers concealed in the trees. Spotlights picked out individual redwoods. They glowed green.

Then we were plunged suddenly into darkness. The drums thundered. Boom! Boom! At each boom a robed man carrying a flaming torch appeared amid the trees. There were perhaps thirty of them. It was, without question, a berobed torch lit procession. Their hoods were red, their robes black. They resembled posh Klansmen, or the cast of a Broadway musical, should Broadway ever decide to do the Moloch Pagan Cult of Sacrifice story.

They lit a pyre at the foot of the owl.

“Hail, Bohemians!” said the High Priest, and it was clear he was the highest of all the priests because his robes were silver and gold and made of silk. The High Priest reprised Eden’s Garden Soloist’s eulogy of the great outdoors. “The ripple of waters, the song of birds, such music as inspires the soul…”

To summarize, he informed the crowd, these men of wealth and power, that Dull Care, arch-enemy of Beauty, must be slain, right here and now!

“Bring fire!” he roared.

I wondered what Alex and Mike were making of this. I, personally, took Dull Care to mean the burdens and responsibilities of business, but I imagined Alex was interpreting the scene differently. A naysayer could easily presume that Dull Care meant the world beyond the Grove, the average Joes, and that the High Priest was suggesting the world leaders in the crowd should not give a damn about ordinary people.

As I pondered this, a startling thunder crack rang out through the trees, followed by a scary, cackly voice. It was the voice of Dull Care.

“Fools!” he roared. “Fools! Ha ha ha! When will ye learn that me ye cannot slay?”

Dull Care suggested to the High Priest that he was invincible.

“When ye turn your feet to the market place,” he mocked cacklingly, “am I not waiting for you as of old? Fools! To dream ye conquer Care.”

At this, and in a breathtaking display of pyrotechnic wizardry, the spirit of Dull Care spat fire onto the High Priest. From the treetops, a gob of fire rained down upon the High Priest’s hat, infuriating him.

“Nay, thou mocking spirit,” he sputtered. “We know thou waitest for us when this sylvan holiday shall end. But this too we know: year after year, within this happy Grove, our fellowship has banned thee for a space. So shall we burn thee once again and in flames stare at thine effigy, we’ll read the sign. Midsummer set us free!”

And the crowd roared and yelled and cheered the last line back at the priest: “Midsummer set us free!”

At this moment, Death appeared on a gondola on the lagoon, carrying a papier-mâché effigy towards the giant owl. Dry ice floated upon the lagoon’s surface. It was a beautiful sight. The effigy was retrieved from the boat by (my programme informed me) the Brazier Bearers, held out to the owl’s midriff, and then thrown- by the Mourning Revelry Dancers- into the fire.

“Aaaargh,” said Dull Care, his grotesque death rattle filling the forest.

“Hooray!” said the crowd.

Then fireworks erupted and everybody sang “And The Saints Go Marching In.” Then it was over.

Now of course, Alex Jones was at the very same ceremony, secretly recording it with his shaky hidden camera, and (big surprise), all of Alex's worst fears of the New World Order were realized. 

Here is his version of the night:

Then, out came the high priest, who went through all his incantations about the dead (who is dead at the Grove in the past, may their spirits be conjured and brought back there by the "great owl"). He praised the owl for about twenty minutes and he talked about "goodly Tyre and Babylon."

(I know how bizarre this all sounds, just remember that we have all of this on tape in my video, Dark Secrets: Inside Bohemian Grove, which has aired nationally in the United Kingdom, and might air here in the United States, unless it is suppressed.)

So, the priest talked about "goodly Tyre and Babylon." Well,, there is only one "great owl" of Babylon and "goodly" Tyre. If you read your Bible, or any historical document of the time, they were burning children in the Babylonian and Caananite kingdoms before the owl-god Moloch.

Suddenly, (again, we had initially been misdirected from the owl by the activities behind the curtains across the bank, then we were paying attention to the owl and the priests on the island ) back on the west bank, there was an old-fashioned river-style boat, with that grim reaper character who had been driving the wagon, and he was poling himself across the water with the bound body up on the bow.

He brought the bound body to the high priest who was waiting for it at the foot of the owl, at the bottom of large circular steps on which the owl sits. Then, in very macabre fashion, the two black-clad priests rubbed and caressed the sacrificial body and brought it before the owl.

The body begged for its life, over a speaker system. They refused it mercy. They took it up onto the altar. The "great owl" told them to burn the body (which they called "dull care,") which looks like a human wrapped up in black cloth. Right above the altar there was a large stone lamp that was burning that they call the "eternal flame." The high priest took an unlit torch and lit his torch with this flame.

The body again begged for mercy. The high priest then walked down (with some difficulty, because this high priest was so old, he could hardly even walk), and lit the pyre on fire. He began to say that he would read the signs in the remains, a deep occult tradition. This is not the Hollywood devil with red pajamas – this is the real deal, Babylon mystery religion-style.


You see what you want to see, and hear what you want to hear. Alex Jones chooses not to understand the truth of the Bohemian Grove Apocalypse, its 1 AD code and function in regulating the Matrix, or what it all has to do with the Great Game. For people like him, the owl will always be Moloch because he is not prepared to take on the cosmic responsibilities Athena demands...

...are YOU?

From the Stellarium of the Great Galaxo

The Great Galaxo is the king of Cosmic Chicanery, the Loki of Light and the Donof the Double Take. One never knows what Galaxo will say or do so do tread lightly here in his realm!

“Zodiac Wizardry”

Yes, I know how all you Zodiac signs just love yourselves! AND, you’re probably delighted that I have chosen to write about your magical wizardry talents. Well wipe that smile off your faces because I’m here to tell it like it is and I could care less if you think I’m a grumpy old wizard or decide to toss some choice cuss words my way! Deal with it buckoes or go read something else! Far be it from me to pander to your delicate egos. Shut up and sit down and you might learn something for a change.

The FIRE Wizards

Aries, Leo, Sagittarius

You Fire signs are all the same – you think you know it all! Yet I have to hand it to you folks because you are all sorcerers of the highest degree who can “conjure” and “create” so I guess some pomposity is allowable. Ritual Magick belongs to the Fire Wizards. This magick requires discipline, spiritual enlightenment, and self mastery and highly developed skills in meditation, concentration, visualization while acquiring the ability to focus thought, willpower, and imagination. You magical bastions don’t hang around with any other creatures except the Fire Salamander who you rank highly as an elemental. There is a reason for this. You see, Fire Wizards have no problem accessing the Astral Plane and kicking lower negative entities dwelling there in the derrière! This is because Fire Magick is manifested very quickly and is primal, masculine, purifying and illuminating in nature. Devils and demonoids don’t stand a chance against.

Aries – In mythology and magical legend your representative the Ram was actually the Golden Ram who was given to Nephele, the wife of King Athamus of Greece,  as a gift from the god Hermes. The Golden Ram had a special ability and that was being able to talk with the voice of a man. When Nephele’s children Phrixus and Helle were in danger, the Golden Ram spoke to them of danger and then flew them across the sea in an attempt to save from Athamus’ second wife Ino who had arranged destruction for them. Unfortunately as they were crossing the strait that divides Europe and Asia, Helle grew dizzy, fainted and fell off the back of the Ram into the sea and drowned. This is how the Hellespont was named. Phrixus was taken to safety to the land of Colchis. The Golden Ram was sacrificed to the god Jupiter who placed the Golden Ram’s likeness among the stars in the heavens to honor the heroism he so bravely demonstrated which became known as  the constellation Aries.

You are widely known as the “I Am” or “Me First” sign. People accuse you of being self centered and arrogant but I say you merely have a good handle on who you are and what you are about. That’s why you’re good at getting things initiated And even though you’ve been accused of not finishing what you start it gets done and brought to completion whether it is YOU who has finished it OR if it has been delegated elsewhere. You are assertive, sexual and able to climb to great heights. “Onward and upward” is your motto. As a wizard you know that diamonds are lucky for you and should be worn on the left side of the body. Wearing diamonds empowers your personal magic and magnetism especially on Tuesdays which is your special day. You also enjoy working with the numbers 1 and 9 which hold significance for you… my, my how kabalistic! Your written glyph consists of two half moons joined by a straight line. This combination indicates idealism tied to authority and leadership. Just try not to give yourself a headache or crash into things as you go about your magical business!

Leo – Your magical legend is based upon the tale of Hercules and the Nemean Lion. Hercules was the son of the god Jupiter and his mortal love Alcmena. Jupiter’s jealous wife Juno despised Hercules because he represented Jupiter’s infidelity so all of his life, she thwarted Hercules in any way she could. When Hercules was a young man she compelled him to take on twelve difficult and dangerous undertakings that would become known as the Twelve Labors of Hercules in myth and legend. The First Labor was to seek out and kill the famed lion of Nemea who could not be killed with any weapon because his coat and skin repelled them. The only way for Hercules to defeat the Nemean Lion was to wrestle him and strangle him which he did but lost a finger that the lion bit off. After he killed the beast, Hercules made a shield from the lion’s magical pelt and   crafted a helmet from the lion’s jaw. This special armor was a great aid to Hercules during the other Labors. In the heavens the constellation of Leo is said to commemorate the great bravery of combat between Hercules and the magnificent Nemean Lion.

Well aren’t you the hot shot! Literally. You’re the center of it all and you just love it. Others may call you dominating and indolent but you do possess a nobility that no one can beat, that is, unless you’re in a gaudy mode and wearing too may rubies which are magically lucky for you. Your magick governs pleasure and creativity and you’re darn good at both. Plus, truth be known, you are the wizard who knows how to turn base metal into gold and that is why your sign has been given rulership over it. Wait! What do you mean I should shut up and not talk about that! What do you care if I tell? The way you guard that “gold method” with secrecy no one would be able to get past all that glitter and glamour you dazzle them with anyway. Your written glyph is actually the Greek symbol for the first letter of Leo and consists of two incomplete circles of the Sun joined by a crescent Moon. This symbolizes power based in and brought forth from the intellect and the emotions. Yeah, I know you’re mad at me because I’m telling this to everyone. I would say, ”Bite Me!” – BUT you really would do it! Well … maybe not on a Sunday or days that reference the numbers 8 and 9 since you’re too busy running your magic at those times. Nice kitty, kitty! Here’s a gold crown for you!!!

Sagittarius – Your magical legend is quite special. You are the only astrological sign that is half human and half animal. Truth be known, yes, you are represented by a centaur but not just any centaur – you are represented by the great teacher centaur Chiron. Chiron was the son of the Titan god Saturn and he was both the confidante and go-between of men and the gods. He trained and taught many famous mythological heroes like Hercules, Achilles, Jason, Asclepius, Castor and Pollux. Chiron was accidentally wounded with a poison arrow shot by Hercules while he was hunting a boar and because he was half god Chiron could not die and suffered tremendous pain from a wound that would not heal. Hercules promised to find Death to release Chiron but on his journey found Prometheus who was being punished by Jupiter because he gave fire to mankind. Prometheus was chained to a rock where everyday an eagle would tear out his liver. The only way Prometheus could be delivered is if someone would take his place. Chiron took his place fulfilling the curse. Chiron was allowed to die and Prometheus was set free. After Chiron died Jupiter rewarded his noble acts by placing his likeness in the sky which then became the constellation Sagittarius.

Don’t you have a glamorous gig! Expansive, well read, optimistic and lucky they say but let’s face it, you have no staying power because you have no need for personal commitment. Thank the stars your magic isn’t subject to that attitude because your triad pals Aries and Leo just wouldn’t stand for that nonsense. So what do you bring to the magical table? Well your written glyph says it all. The pictograph is a free ranging pointed arrow which represents the line of wisdom angled away from the Earthly mundane and aimed at higher truths and ideals. So, you’re the one writing the magical scripts and reading the arcane words while the other two manifest the magic. Well, stop complaining you’re the one deemed the brainiac! You also have a penchant for turquoise which is a potent magical stone for you because it allows you to see into the future. Nostradamus never even held a candle to you even though he was a Sag. Your magic day is Thursday and your numbers are 5 and 7. AND before you ask me – NO!!! These are not good days to gamble or buy lottery tickets. Why don’t you do something useful like taking your magical purple robe to the dry cleaners … and for heaven’s sake, why don’t you buy yourself a new pair of jeans – you’re starting to look like a hippie throw back!


Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn


Ah Earthly wonders! What will you do next? You hang around with the gnomes and dwarves and love tying people up in knots with your bind spells of Sympathetic Magic. Natural magic is also your fav as if one form of magic wasn’t enough! You are also into “tools” and “powders and potions” particularly when focusing upon long distance energies. A quick poof of some magic dust and it‘s done! Some think you are rather spiffy dressers always accoutered in the finest threads and amulets of fine taste. The pentagram is a favorite of yours and it is always a specialty item crafted of the finest metals and stones although copper resonates best along with pink gold. You also like to cast vocal spells often singing them out. Crooning sorcerers … very nice! All of you are into abundance and prosperity and there will always be some sort of exchange (preferably monetary) for spell casting. Well let’s face it! Your group is represented by the Cross of Matter! Jeesh! Yeah, yeah, I should shut up – you guys don’t get mad – you get even!!!

Taurus – The amorous nature associated with your sign goes all the way back to your original mythological tale. Jupiter the supreme god of all was a letch. He loved the mortal ladies and would go to any extreme to make love to them. Jupiter took an amorous fancy to Princess Europa, the daughter of the King of Phoenicia. One night Europa had a strange dream in which she was told, “I shall bring you to Jupiter, for destiny has appointed you his beloved.” However, the trouble was Europa was kept well guarded and lived a very sheltered life in lock down in her father’s palace. This did not stop ole Jupiter who devised the plan of shape-shifting into a bull because he knew Europa would run from him if he showed himself in godly form. Now Jupiter did not just pick some old grazing bull munching on grass. No sir! He chose the visage of a beautiful white bull adorned with jeweled horn and a silver crescent Moon gracing his forehead. Europa was awe struck by the magnificent bull and began gently stroking and caressing him. Seeing he was not a threat, she climbed up on his back but then without notice the bull sprang into the air and carried Europa to the island of Crete. There Jupiter transformed himself back into godly form and declared his love for the young maid. Under the boughs of a large tree he and Europa became lovers. Later the goddess Venus appeared to her telling her that she was the woman in her dreams and that the continent to which Jupiter had taken her would be forever known as “Europe” in her honor. Europa bore Jupiter three children and Jupiter was so pleased he placed the image of the Bull in the starry Heavens.

So, all b-llshit aside, You are not only the great lover but also the great lover of luxury! Emerald is your stone of choice probably because it green hue reminds you of green back dollars! What?! You didn’t like that comment? What’s the matter – do you think you are the only one who has the market on antagonizing others? Bosh! Hey, how about lending me your pentagram for a few days? NO? What’s that you say? You collect and covet your “pretties?” OK – let’s get on with it then! Your day is Friday … a good day to collect aye? Your numbers are 4 and 6. Good days for investments you ask – sure – weave your magic and multiply your bounty even if you have no intentions of sharing any of it with your fellow magicians. Capricorn won’t care, he’s got plenty of his own loot and Virgo – well – Virgo is content just to figure out “how” you accruing all that wealth. Why don’t you find a nice Cypress or apple tree to sit under while I explain your sign glyph? The pictograph for your sign represents the head and horns of a bull. Symbolically, the glyph is a half Moon resting upon the circle of the Sun. The half Moon is thought to be a “cup” holding material power and wealth that is derived from the willpower of the Sun. Hey! What are you doing under that apple tree? I said sit under the tree not knock down all the apples and eat them! You’re going to get fat instead of phat!

Virgo – You and Gemini are the only “human represented” signs of the Zodiac. Aquarius is represented by a “human figure” but no one is really sure WHAt is Aquarius really IS so we’ll leave it at that! Your legend is based in the multi-layered Greek myth of Creation. The tale reads that before men or animals lived on Earth, a race of giants called “Titans” ruled the Earth. Two Titan brothers, Prometheus and Epimteheus were busy setting about “creating” human beings and animals. Epimetheus set put to “refine” the animals giving them specific traits but he worked so hard that when he was done he had nothing left to give to humans so he asked Prometheus for help. Prometheus journeyed into heaven and brought back fire to give to mankind. This of course made man superior to all other species. Unfortunately this angered the great god Jupiter who became so angry with Prometheus that he bound the Titan to a rock on Mount Caucasus where an eagle came daily and tore at his liver. Jupiter was still so angry that he also sent a curse to Earth that was to be brought about by the first woman Pandora whose name means “a gift of all the gods.” Pandora had with her an infamous closed box that she was never to open. Of course being a curious woman, she could not resist opening the box to take a peek. Out of the box sprang all sorts of nasty sickness and plagues that would haunt mankind forever after. The only thing that didn’t escape the box was “hope.” Some “gift” she was - bet you didn’t think Jupiter was that facetious aye? Eventually all the gods deserted Earth and went to permanently reside up on Olympus. The last to go was the goddess Astraea who represented innocence and purity. She was placed in the heavens as the constellation Virgo as a reminder to mankind that when the day of the Golden Age returned the goddess would also return to Earth.

Reserved, modest, discriminating and industrious, you painstakingly analyze in order to understand the truth. It’s a lousy job but someone has to do it and without your back-up the other two Earth wizards would be in a mess! AND messes are something you simply don’t tolerate. Those other two are unfair aren’t they? Always accusing you of being “boring?” Well without you they’d never find all their magical “stuff” they left in the heap of oblivion. You’re always working on improving magic and perfecting its effect. You’re so into it that it tends to make you a wee bit cranky and high strung at times. Hey! Maybe if you put on a good enough show of distress Taurus will actually lend you his pentagram out of sympathy! He might charge you a rental fee though. What’s that you say? It needs to be cleaned and polished? Get a life will you? Wait … I should do what? My, my, how all you Earth people like to cuss and swear … all right I’ll get on with the dissertation. Your sign is represented by the Virgin – a pictograph of human reproductive organs that are chaste and untouchable. The glyph is a straight line connected to two curved lines, one of which is crossed. This is a representation of wisdom tied to emotion and feelings crossed by practicality. You also tend to like shades of dark blue and even your magic tends to have a blue aura. Sapphire is your magical stone, Wednesday your day and the numbers 3 and 5 are favored by you. I am expecting that what I have said about you is not “good enough” and that I’ll probably receive a good critical tongue lashing from you later. Ask me if I care.

Capricorn – As befitting to the sign ruled by Saturn the Lord of Time and Karma, your myth is very ancient. To the Babylonians you were known as the revered god Ea, the Seagoat. The peoples of Mesopotamia would relied heavily on irrigation from the Tigris and Euphrates rivers believed that Ea lived in an underground ocean and that he would rise and come out every day to dispense his wisdom returning at night. To the Greeks and Romans you were known as Pan the philandering syrinx playing goat man who eventually became known as the god of nature. The sexuality and impudence of Pan became part of the character of Capricorn along with wisdom.

Oh Capricornius – you could have very well been the first magician of the highest order combining Cardinality, Earth and Water as the Seagoat. It does seem apropos since you are always the first to grasp an opportunity. Even amongst the citizens of the Realm of Magick you maintain an impeccable reputation unsurpassed by anyone else! Because of this however you also have many enemies that try to ruin you by uncovering secrets from your past that are best left buried! Hey! What are you complaining about? I said you are impeccable by nature not perfect! Be reasonable – perfect belongs to your Triad buddy Virgo! So go polish up your favorite stone the garnet or at least give it to Virgo to polish and stop complaining. By the way, the garnet is a perfect stone for you since it attracts popularity and garners (why do you think it is called garnet?) high esteem. Your special day is Saturday (named for your ruling planet Saturn) and your favored numbers are 2 and 8. Your sign pictograph is the v-shaped beard of a goat and a fish tail. The glyph is two straight lines that meet while connecting to a circle and a crescent. It represents authority and responsibility buoyed by energy and great passion. So this is why you’re always head of the magician’s convention right? So tell me, what can really be made out of lead?


The AIR Wizards

Gemini, Libra, Aquarius


You Air Wizards are all a bunch of weirdoes. That’s right – you heard me! You all talk too much, think too much and have no clue which direction you’re traveling. How then did you Air Wizards become the Masters of mental control and mind manipulation? Never mind! Don’t get into an explanation because then I’ll never get out of here! Just let me continue … pretend I’m not here and for heaven’s sake stop staring at me! Air Wizards favor Folk Magic which is a mixed bag of magic sometimes inclusive of religious elements. It’s mainly used for protection, healing and luck – all the nice fluffy stuff with nothing scary going on like the Fire Wizards deal with. That’s OK – sometimes the magical pen is mightier than a flaming sword unless you’ve messed up and let your abstract thoughts run amok resulting in the manifestation of some pretty gnarly monsters that require Fire Magician intervention! You Air Wizards are always writing “handbooks” of spells or magical prescriptions for apothecary uses. You are also prophets and telepaths and are generally big pains in the ass because you’re always sending out fairies to drive humans to distraction. Oh it’s all very clever – you pretend to be sending out muses to help humans with their creativity but you really send the fairies to steal or hide human possessions just to make poor hapless humans think they are insane. That’s how you get your kicks. Very funny you guys – and don’t even think about trying to change me into a frog! Remember I have a few tricks up my sleeve as well! Now where did I put my glasses … was that a fairy I just saw?

Gemini – Your sign is the other human sign along with Virgo and the human figure of Aquarius. Your legendary myth once again concerns that old letch Jupiter. In your story, he had an eye for Leda a lovely woman who was married to the Tyndareus the king of Sparta. This time Jupiter turned himself into a beautiful swan and as the story goes he was successful in seducing Leda. Leda bore two eggs – one that held the offspring of Jupiter and the other the offspring of her mortal husband. The resulting children were the twin brothers Castor and Pollux and the twin sisters Helen of Troy and Clytemnestra. To this day no one is sure which of the twins was the offspring of Jupiter but the emphasis was placed on Castor and Pollux. Both were quote hearty fellows – Castor became a famous horse tamer and Polllux a renowned boxer. When they were young men they joined the legendary Jason and the Argonauts on the quest for the Golden Fleece. During violent storm at sea while on the quest two stars appeared in the heavens above the heads of the twins. When this happened the storm miraculously ceased. NOTE: These new stars also have a myth attached to them in that they are electrically charged and if two appear during a storm, the storm will cease but if only one appears, the storm will grow worse. Castor and Pollux were inseparable but alas, Castor was killed in battle leaving Pollux inconsolable. Pollux begged Jupiter to bring his beloved brother back to life but the sacrifice to accomplish this was his own life. Jupiter rewarded the great love and dedication of the brothers by placing their image in the heavens. The two stars also brought them notoriety as they are also considered the stellar patrons of all travelers on the sea.

The problem with your magick is that you’re always trying to impose it on someone else! You can’t stop talking nor can you stay still long enough for anyone to pin you down. Hit and run is your style and it certainly doesn’t help things that you have Hermes Magic Flying Sandals locked in your magical trunk ready for you to access at any time and take off. And where do you like to go? To the upper realms of the faerie kingdom where you fly around with the rest of the weirdoes. A bit of a snob you are preferring the company of the Fae to the rest of us! Well, if you can stay grounded for a minute or two you can listen to the rest of this dissertation – here it is: Your pictograph is of course The Twins and the written glyph is two upright lines bound by top and bottom lines which in total represents wisdom, learning and mind synthesizing. That’s about all your good for really – processing and spitting out information for the other wizards to use because you never hang around long enough to use it yourself! What do you mean I’m a comedian? It’s true! The other thing about you is that you will lie if it’s convenient to do so. Yes, I know Pisces does that as well but at least Pisces isn’t mean about it! So – in the meantime, while you’re out gallivanting which you love to do on Wednesdays (your day) you’re busy collecting agate stones to use in magic. Agate helps you to be more elegant when you speak especially during the lectures you give at the Wizard’s conventions. I have to hand it to you – you DO know how to keep an audience riveted to their chairs … one way or another! That’s because you’ve mastered the art of the Fickle Tickle – Keep them laughing and guessing! You’re also fond of odd numbers especially 5 and 9 (change and new starts). So, I’m done – Off you go – Can’t wait to see what new ridiculous novelty you’ll come up with next!

Libra –You are the only sign that is neither human or animal or a half assed combo like Sagittarius. Your mythology goes back to Egypt and the God Anubis who held jurisdiction over the Scales of Justice. Anubis was responsible for the weighing of each human heart at death to see if the heart would be balanced with the Feather of Truth. If a heart was not as light as a feather, admittance to the afterlife was denied. This is pretty scary stuff for your prissy little sign isn't it? Back than the Egyptian had a joke about your sign nicknaming you "featherhead" and it still exists today except now it has become "airhead." In Greek mythology, (isn't it nice of me to give you two choices to procrastinate over?) your sign is represented by the goddess Themis, mother of Astraea (Virgo). Themis and Astraea stand side by side in the heavenly firmament as the signs Virgo and Libra. Legend has it that when the human race reaches its Golden Age, Themis (symbolizing justice) and Astraea (symbolizing innocence) will return to Earth. All hell should break loose then.

For Stars Sake – can’t you ever make up your mind? Do you want me to talk about your magical Self or not? What do you mean – only if it’s balanced? What do you think I am - a ball juggling circus clown? No – I will not wait for you to choose an appropriate outfit! There is no need for you to be glamorous for this dissertation! Let’s get on with it … TODAY! You are the most socially inclined and diplomatic of all the Wizards. Your parties are a big hit amongst the magickally elite. You still need to work on keeping the fairies in line though – they keep spiking the ale and everyone ends up drunk wearing their underwear on their heads! Oh dear now I’ve committed the ultimate social faux paux by making fun! You won’t notice anyway – you’re much too busy adorning yourself with pretties and spraying yourself with Ea Du Venus perfume! In all fairness to you, you do maintain the ultimate balance during magical ritual. Somehow you manage to stay  grounded enough to do so. You can bounce off incoming negativity like a champ turning it into light and dispensing it appropriately. So, I must say that your pictograph of the Scales suits you well. Your written glyph is actually the Egyptian symbol for the setting Sun which is the doorway between two worlds. The glyph is a crescent Moon connected to two straight lines resting above a third line. It represents emotion bound on either side by reason resting above partnership. This symbol is displayed proudly outside of your Magickal Law Office where you sit in the Seat of Magical Justice as judge of all magical misdemeanors committed by the other Wizards. Trials are generally held on Fridays (your day) from 6 am to 9 am (also your numbers). Might be a good idea to consider getting a gavel made of something else besides opal (your magical stone) as it is a rather soft stone to be pounding. Uh Oh! Is that a spot of faerie dust I see on your robe? Better change it and while you’re at it you might want to check your hair – Gemini Wizard has turned it green again!

Aquarius - Your legend goes back to both Egyptian and Babylonian religious beliefs. In Egypt you were known as the god Hap who personified the River Nile. Hap carried two vessels that represented the North and South Nile which were always filled and considered life sustaining. To the Greeks you were known as The Water Pourer often believed to be a representation of the god Jupiter who would command water to fall from the heavens and sustain Earth. In some circles, the constellation Aquarius represented Deucalion, the only man to survive the Great Flood. At the beginning of creation during the Golden Age, man lived in a plentiful state needing nothing to sustain him. Then along came Pandora who open the box of “evils” and everything change. Jupiter looked down on Earth and decided that he would get rid of all the people and create a new “worthier” breed of man. With the aid of his brother Neptune, the Earth was covered with water and only two people were saved, Deucalion and his wife Pyrrha who took refuge on Mount Parnassus. These two humans had always honored the gods and led exemplary lives and Jupiter was so taken with their faithfulness he dried up all the waters on Earth. Jupiter ordered Deucalion and Pyrrha to cast behind them the bones of their mother behind them which Deucalion interpreted as stones of the Earth. He and Pyyrha picked up one stone after another casting them behind. Stones cast by Deucalion became men and those cast by Pyyrha became women and thus the world was repopulated with a new race by the great “humanitarian” Deucalion.

You enjoy the title of King Weirdo Wizard, don’t you? Why are you shaking your head negatively? Just look at yourself – you depicted yourself as a frog wearing a Wizard Hat in the Air Wizard image at the beginning of this section. Why? Just to be ornery and “different” or even better ODDBALL. Well can’t say that I blame you – you’ve been around as long as Capricorn Wizard as one of the first rulers of the Magickal Universe. So I guess you’re entitled to some “change.” By the way, speaking of change, would you mind turning my cat back into a cat? He’s getting a little tired of being a door handle. Thank you. Sometimes you’re such a kid! You love getting into the dreams of humans and showing them the magic they can manifest in their lives. This is not so great you know because you fill human heads with all kinds of grand plans then no one can remember them when they wake up or if their daydream is interrupted. Bummer! Stop laughing – it’s not funny. Your magic is manifested as very electrical and you just love zapping everything one way or another. You’ve even turned your wand into a Ray Gun powered by an amethyst laser! Couldn’t you find a better way to use your magical stone? What do you mean that’s “old school” from Atlantis? Honestly you’re such a rogue! Your pictograph represents water which flows from the vessel of the Water Bearer. Some think it is related to the Egyptian symbol for water but symbolically, the ridged unbroken lines represent electric energy, future wisdom and Universal Thought. Your favored day is Wednesday just like Gemini Wizard. As a matter of fact the two of you planned it that way just so you could team up and prank hapless humans. Your numbers are 1 and 7 (power and magic). I have nothing else to say to you – why don’t you go sprinkle some magickal innovation dust on the poor mortal humans? Just leave the eccentricity dust out of the mix.


Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces


Well aren’t you all the high holy muck-mucks of the occult and the arcane? Water Wizards favor Practical Magick and make good use of the psychic arts such as clairvoyance, divination, prophecy, healing, and even astral travel. You also engage Transcendental Magick where rituals are divine and religious with spiritual and moral ethics. Many times you’ll pair up with the Earth Wizards just so you can stay relatively grounded because with the exception of Scorpio Wizard you other two are all over the place scattering your magic. Stop pouting – that frown will get you nowhere with me! Your magick is often connected to the phases of the Moon and you just love to hang out with the undines and mermaids. Most of your magick is performed near one form of water or another from the ocean to a pile of snow! If you cannot be near a water source you’ll use mirrors or liquid mercury to perform your magickal tasks. You are also notorious for messing up the weather which you’ll do just for fun and games. Actually the phrase, “It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature!” came about from your miscalculation of weather spells and had nothing to do with Mother Nature at all but rather your lame interference! You might not be the brightest bulbs in the Wizard Illumination pack but you are definitely powerful. It seems that no matter how badly you mess up, the other Wizards forgive you because you can put on such a heart rendering display of emotions no one can stay mad for long! Sneaky but effective! Yeah, yeah – cry me a river!

Cancer – By legend, it was the Chaldeans who named you Cancer the Crab because of the apparent oblique motion that seemed to occur when the Sun reached your sign every year. In Egypt you were known as the “Stars of the Water” represented by two turtles – one Egyptian and the other a Babylonian water creature called Allul. According to Greek myth, Cancer was a giant crab that attacked the foot of Hercules while he was trying to fight the notorious nine-headed serpent Hydra. The crab was sent by the goddess Juno who hated Hercules and would cause him pain and suffering in every way she could. This was a frustrating battle for Hercules because every time he cut off one of the Hydra’s heads, two more would grow back. In the meantime, your crabby self get attacking his feet via instigation of Juno. Too bad for you that you tested Hercules’ patience beyond repair because he ended up crushing you underneath his foot as he finished dispatching the Hydra with fire. It was Juno who placed your image in the starry heavens as a reward for your obedience and sacrifice.

You’re known for being sensitive, receptive and sympathetic but truth be known, you’re one shrewd Wizard and highly psychic to boot! Nothing gets past you although you’re darn good at pretending you’re oblivious. You spend the most time in the Stellarium only stepping out when you need to since you consider the Stellarium Home Sweet Home. You are also the biggest pain in the ass because you are vigilant about reminding the other wizards to wipe their feet before they enter the Stellarium. It’s not that you’re a neat freak – far from it! Your magic office is strewn with “stuff” from the onset of time because you cannot throw anything away. You just never know when cauldrons will come back in style! You are kind though and do a great deal of magic changing bad fortune into good and discord into harmony. Entertainment is also your “thing” and at the Wizard’s Conventions your imagination gets full rein often presenting itself with comedic flair. This is only problematic if the other Wizards don’t laugh at you jokes. When that happens you become impossibly “crabby” and no one can deal with your crankiness. Your pictograph is the claws of a crab and your written glyph is two circles of the Sun connected to two crescent Moons. The crescent Moons represent “storage” of Akashic memories while the two Sun circles tied to the Moons represent energy force expressed through imagination and feelings. Your day of course in Monday (named after the Moon) although you’re still campaigning after all these centuries for it to be called “Moonday” because Monday is not politically correct. You fancy pearls and the numbers 3 and 7. You love to eat and prepare meals for the other Wizards and NEVER cook shellfish – After all, it is in very poor taste to fry your friends!

Scorpio – You often get a bad rap as a mean, vile, stinging arachnid but in Egypt you were revered and deified as Selket, the scorpion goddess who was protectress of the dead. Your tale starts with the death of Orion the great hunter. Orion was the son of the god Neptune and stories about his prowess and skill are legendary. There are a few different versions regarding the death of Orion. One is that Eos the goddess of dawn fell in love with Orion and carried him away. Diana the Moon goddess became jealous when this happened and sent a scorpion to kill Orion. Another version is that Orion tried to rape Diana so she brought a giant scorpion out of the Earth to sting Orion to death. After Orion’s death, Jupiter placed both Orion and the Scorpion in the starry heavens as constellations.

Well Stinger – let’s cut to the chase! You are the Wizard who embraces magickal legacy and inheritance and has the memory of an elephant. This means you’ll remember a slight no matter how small and won’t be satisfied just to turn the transgressor into a frog. No way! This is when you become your very own version of Godzilla and literally fry the enemy until they have been turned to ashes. Even then you’ll still be pissed off! The other Wizard’s rely on your sense of purpose and understanding of what needs to be manifested to keep destiny on track. Pretty heavy stuff but you love it! Your magical prowess is subtle but intense and unyielding. Actually the other Wizards are a bit afraid of you except Aries Wizard who shares your love of butt kicking consciousness! Even though you will destroy, you like to regenerate more. So the other Wizards count on you to restore their botched up magickal experiments that have gone awry so they can start over. The pictograph of your sign is the stinger of a scorpion connected to a representation of human genitalia. Way back in the good old ancient days, your pictograph was actually the symbol for the immortal phoenix who represented regeneration. Your written symbol of two curved lines and an arrow represent intensity of emotion ties to practicality and higher consciousness. No fooling around here! Like Aries Wizard your preferred day is Tuesday and is the day you favor for releasing occult power to bring peace of mind. Your favored numbers are 2 and 4 and your stone is Topaz preferably of the golden hued variety because it reminds you of those Phoenix flames you’re so fond of. OK – you can stop staring at me now.

Pisces – The constellation Pisces has been known as The Two Fishes as far back as 2000 B.C. The Babylonians called you KUN which is translated as “The Tails” or “The Band” (the lease that ties the fishes together). The fish were thought to be the fish goddesses Anunitum and Simmah who represented the Tigris and Euphrates rivers. In Greek mythology, the Two Fishes belong to the story of Venus and her son Cupid. One day while taking a stroll along the Euphrates River, Venus and Cupid were confronted by Typhon a horrible ugly monster with a hundred dragon heads, eyes of fire and a booming indescribable voice. Typhon wanted to destroy the mother and son and trapped them so they could not flee from him. Venus called upon her father the great god Jupiter for help and hearing her plea and looking upon the imminent destruction of mother and son he turned them into two fishes so they could jump into the water and escape. In another version of the story, there were two brave fish that leapt out of the water and carries Venus and Cupid away on their backs down the river to safety. It was the goddess Minerva who placed the image of The Two Fishes in the starry heavens as a reward becoming the constellation Pisces.

You are the Wizard in charge of dreams and mysticism and you use them to help mortal beings seek out the more spiritual values of life. You are the head spiritual Guru amongst the other Wizards although some of them tend to find you a bit impractical at times due to your absentmindedness. You always seem to be losing your magickal shoes or maybe you do that on purpose since they tend to be ill-fitting always giving you corns and bunions. Perhaps you should put them on Scorpio Wizard’s rack and give them a good stretch! One thing the other Wizard’s do enjoy however is the magickal still you keep in the corner of your laboratory. They all love to meet up on Friday nights and engage a bit of magickal happy hour. What’s that you say? They’re only ‘refreshing’ themselves with your latest brew!  ‘Refreshing themselves’? More like getting falling down drunk and ten sheets to the wind if you ask me! Good thing Virgo Wizard is around to clean up the mess and offer a sobering up elixir. Getting back to your statistics, your pictograph is two fish tied together. Symbolically, is is two crescent moons connected by a straight line representing higher consciousness and emotion tied to yet limited by the material world, your favored numbers are 2 and 6 and your magickal stone is the Aquamarine which you can’t seem to collect (or even pilfer or steal) enough of. What’s that? You NEED them to power a time machine you’re building with Capricorn Wizard? How do I know that’s true when you lie like a rug? Oh go take a ride on a dolphin and find some unbalanced mortals to mess with! While you’re away, need anybody to tend the still?